With BPD we have a tendency to want to feel bad, because it feels normal. If we’re not careful, it ends up being a trap we get caught in. To make matters worse, we can now find people online, who also feel bad like we do, and so we can all feel bad together. The trouble is, that doesn’t get us anywhere.
Sometimes we feel sad or numb for no reason. Sometimes nothing makes us happy. Sometimes, we just don’t feel anything. It’s like there’s no point going on, because there’s a hole we can’t fill. These feelings come from nowhere, and arrive in the blink of an eye.
Trigger warning! You might not like this video. An unclear or shifting sense of self is a problem faced by a lot of people with BPD, but it’s not something that people without BPD ever think about. We’re running on manual with our personality, and that means we sometimes make some wrong choices.
This video talks about the BPD marker of self destructive and impulsive behaviour. The behaviours vary from too much online shopping, to substance misuse. Some are more obvious than others, but they’re all there to stop us feeling as bad as we did. The trouble is, they rarely actually help.
In this video I talk about the BPD marker, unstable relationships. It’s one that sounds like we just keep meeting the wrong people, when the truth is that it’s us that make our own unstable relationships. There are so many elements of BPD that work together, to make unstable relationships the only ones we have.
This video is all about asking for forgiveness from others, following a BPD or NPD related outburst. Are we responsible for how our BPD effects us? Should we just be forgiven because we’ve got BPD? What if we have NPD and all we do is say sorry? Our BPD and NPD effects us all differently, but we all end up having to ask for forgiveness at some point.
After a bad episode, a mistake, or anything else going wrong, it’s important that you don’t punish yourself. If there’s anyone who absolutely should be on your side at all times, it’s you.
The last three days are a blur. This video is an attempt to explain what happened, and what it feels like. I’m not sure that I did a great job, maybe I’m still too close to it.
Talking about the BPD marker of explosive anger. One of the nastier makers, to say the least. There’s a great deal more to say about it than I can get into a short video. More to follow.
It’s the best piece of advice I could possibly give you.